The Beginning of the New American Oligarchy, First Edition

How Our Government Now Works:

Welcome to Czarist Amerika!


The Messiah, our Dear Leader
Disinformation Specialist

1. Wife of Dear Leader:
Michelle Obama
Health Care Specialist for the Disadvantaged.
2. Ultimate White House Insider:
Valerie Jarrett
White House Senior Adviser and;
Housing Specialist
3. White House Senior Adviser
David Axelrod
Master Propagandist and;
Health Care Specialist
White House Chief of Staff
Rahm Emmanuel
Senior Advisor to Congess and the Media and;
Minister of Propaganda and Enforcement and;

Brother of Dr. Death, Ezekiel J. Emanuel
Chair of the Clinical Center Department of Bioethics at the National Institutes of Health and;
Federal Coordinating Council for Comparative Effectiveness Research signed into Federal law in The Stimulous Bill, aka HR1

Current and Future Table of Czars Appointed by the Messiah

These are the personal choices for Czars our Glorious Leader, Barack Hussein Obama, made in our best interests to regulate every aspect and detail of our lives from our cradles to our early and untimely graves:

1. Science Czar:
John Holdren
Senate Confirmed
Office of Science and Technology Policy and;
Eugenics and
Population Control Advisor
2. Regulatory Czar:
Cass Sunstein
Senate Confirmed
Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs and;
Quality Adjusted Life Years
3. Health Care Czar:
Nancy-Ann Min DeParle
White House Office of Health Reform and;
Chief Health Care Lobbyiest
4. Green Jobs Czar:
Special Advisor for Green Jobs
Enterprise and Innovation in the White House and;
Self-Proclaimed Communist and;
Founding Board Member: Color of Change and;
Coordinator for the Removal of Unapproved Speech

5. Climate Czar:
Todd Stern
Special Envoy
Climate Change and;
Disciple of Worlds’s Newest Religion
6. Energy Czar:
Carol M. Browner
Assistant to the President
White House Office of Energy and Climate Change and;
Disciple of Worlds’s Newest Religion
7. Information Czar:
Vivek Kundra
Chief Information Officer and;
Chief Watchdog for Theft and Fraud
8. Urban Affairs/Housing Czar:
Adolfo Carrion
White House Office of Urban Affairs Policy and;
Lead Shakedown Artist
9. Faith-Based Czar:
Joshua Dubois
Director of the White House Office
of Faith-Based and
Neighborhood Partnerships and;
Head Islamic Fund Rasier
10. FCC Diversity Czar:
Mark Lloyd
Newly Appointed to a Position That Never Existed Before and;
Head of White House Censorship Division and;
Avocate for Free Speach For Liberals Only Program.
11. Pay Czar:
Kenneth Feinberg
Treasury Appointment
Special Master
TARP Executive Compensation and;
Confiscatory Special Master Criminal
12. Afghanistan Czar:
Richard Holbrooke
US Envoy
Pakistan and Afghanistan and;
Lead Islamic Appeaser

13. AIDS Czar:
Jeffrey Crowley
jeffrey _crowley
Office of National AIDS Policy
14. Car Czar – reappointed as Manufacturing Tzar:
Ron Bloom
Auto Task Force
15. Cyberspace/Internet Fraud Czar:
Melissa Hathaway
White House Office of Cybersecurity
16. Drug Czar:
Gil Kerlikowske
Office of National Drug Control Policy
17. Economic Czar:
Paul Volcker
Economic Recovery Advisory Board
18. Education Czar:
Arne Duncan
Secretary of Education
19. Great Lakes Czar:
Cameron Davis
Great Lakes Czar
20. Mideast Policy Czar:
Dennis Ross
Special Advisor
Iran, the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia
21. Middle-East Peace Czar:
George Mitchell
Special Envoy
Middle East
22. Performance Czar:
Jeffrey Zients
Chief Performance Officer
23. Safe Schools Czar:
Kevin Jennings
Assistant Deputy Secretary
Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools
24. Sudan Czar:
J. Scott Gration
Special Envoy to Sudan
25. Technology Czar:
Aneesh Chopra
Federal Chief Technology Officer
26. Terrorism Czar:
John Brennan
Deputy National Security Advisor
Homeland Security
27. Violence Against Women Czar:
Lynn Rosenthal
White House Advisor
Violence Against Women
28. War Czar:
Douglas Lute
Assistant to the President
Deputy National Security Advisor
Iraq and Afghanistan
29. Weapons Czar:
Ashton Carter
Under Secretary
Defense for Acquisition, Technology, and Logistics
30. WMD Czar:
Gary Samore
National Security Council Staff
31. Bailout Czar:
Neel Kashkari
neel _kashkari
Treasury Appointment
Interim Assistant Secretary
Treasury for Financial Stability
32. Border Czar:
Alan Bersin (Former US attorney)
Senate Confirmed
Assistant Secretary for International Affairs and
Special Representative for Border Affairs
US Department of Homeland Security
33. Stimulus Accountability Czar:
Earl Devaney
Senate Confirmed
Inspector General
US Department of the Interior
34. Tarp Czar:
Herb Allison
Senate Confirmed
Assistant Secretary for Financial Stability
US Department of the Treasury
35. Guantanomo Closure Czar:
Danny Fried
Secretary of State Appointment
US Department of State
Special Envoy
36. Intelligence Czar:
Admiral Dennis Blair
Presidential Appointment with Advice and Consent of the Senate
Director of National Intelligence
37. California Water Czar
David J. Hayes
38. Auto Recovery Czar
Ed Montgomery

Czars Awaiting Presidential Appointment
39. Copyright Czar:
Intellectual Property Enforcement Coordinator
Not appointed yet.
40. Land-Use Czar:
Not appointed yet.
41. Income Redistribution Czar:
Not appointed yet.
42. Latin American Czar:
Not appointed yet.
43. Mortgage Czar:
Not appointed yet.
42. Radio-Internet Fairness Czar:
Not appointed yet.
44. Student Loan Czar:
Not appointed yet.
45. Voter List Czar:
Not appointed yet.
46. Zoning Czar:
Not appointed yet.

In Case You Still Cannot Understand The Message:

Senate Majority (Dem) Leader Harry Reid has a special message just for you!

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Hummers Rejected, Pedophile Adored

It was likely that China had to reject the Hummer brand since the Cap N’ Tax bill will mandate that the US force other trading partners to comply with it or face restrictions. With China’s massive polution problems, they had litttle choice, if they wished to continue milking the American cash cow.

Cap N’ Tax passed the House, with claims that it will create millions of jobs sometime during the later part of Obama’s Reign – around 2050.

Cap N’ Tax Results

Meanwhile, companies nationwide shut down – making huge profits on the sale of their carbon credits, while others moved out of the US completely. During the historical period of His Reign from 2009-2055 (when he Ascended during a visit to the Dome of the Rock in New Palestine, peace be upon Him), the US saw an average 35% unemployment rate which continued until it became both impractical to record and politically expedient to halt such statistics around 2012.

Other than the few heavily regulated house cleaning business and the few remaining high-end restaurants, all other jobs were some form of highly sought after government employment. This one master stroke, which was passed while every TV in the US was glued the death of some washed-up, pop rock child molester – a fortunate coincidence, if you believe in them – created the first truly green country by virtue of producing or manufacturing absolutely nothing other than more government jobs, reports, studies, and white papers which were so long no one read them – like the Cap N’ Tax bills.

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Obama Owned A Penny At A Time

The Obama Stimulus: Predictions vs. Reality


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The Obama Miracle

Recounting Obama’s Amazing Accomplishments
To June 1st, 2009

  1. Eliminated some of the largest stock trading companies;
  2. Took over the US’s largest banks;
  3. Took over the insurance industry;
    • Owns AIG;
    • Owns CitiGroup;
  4. Dictated lending terms to credit companies;
    • Owns Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae;
  5. Took over the auto industry;
    • Owns General Motors;
    • Dictated auto fuel efficiency standards;
    • Declares “What I have no interest in doing is running GM”;
    • Fires GM’s CEO and sets ad budget;
  6. Made nice with Iran;
  7. Bows deeply to the Saudi King – the titular head of the Sunni muslim world (in which tradition Obama was raised);
  8. Made nice speeches to the Arab and Muslim world;
    • Tours the Muslim World: beginning in Saudia Arabia naturally, next Egypt, and then moving on the other 55 states;
  9. Made nice with Hugo Chevez;
  10. Made nice with Daniel Ortega;
  11. Made nice with Cuba;
  12. Ignores North Korea’s multiple missile launches and the exploding of a second nuclear weapon;
  13. Ignores Iran’s test launch of a solid fuel super acrurate missile with 1200 mile range;
  14. Created a White House TV network for those special ocassions when the usual media suspects just won’t do;
  15. Preparing to buy California, New York and New Jersey;
  16. Preparing to take over the US health industry;
  17. Preparing to eliminate private health insurance companies;
  18. Preparing to take posession of a large auto company;
  19. Preparing to exercise the diplomatic option in regard to Iran’s nuclear bomb building program – after 30 years of negotiations the diplomats need Obama and His teleprompter to set it right;
  20. Preparing to sign (when passed) Cap n’ Trade to drastically reduce the US GNP, throw hundreds of thousands out of work, raise energy costs by thousands of dollars for every US family, bankrupt the coal industry, and shutter coal-fired power plants – thereby Saving The Planet;
  21. Preparing ‘share’ sensitive nuclear power generation technology with the United Arab Emirates to meet their increased electrical power demands;
  22. Convinced the Public that everything bad is the previous President’s fault;
  23. Convinced the Public that despite the pending loss of the US’s AAA bond rating, 10% unemployment, and deserted malls that the ecomnomy was in worse shape under the previous President;
  24. Took the US Census into the White House and placed his ‘former friends’ in ACORN in charge of the tallies;
  25. Spends quater million dollars on unannounced low level over-flight of NYC;
    • Under pressure, releases only one photo taken during over-flight;
  26. Admits "Americans have Muslims in their families or have lived in a Muslim majority country. I know, because I am one of them." – President Obama: Address to the Turkish Parliament, April 6, 2009;
  27. Declares America is broke;
    • Spends a conservative quater milllion dollars on a date night with wife to NYC.
  28. Took over the US Tabacco Industry.
  29. White House demands private ‘Obama only’ bathroom before school speech in Wisconsin.
  30. Prepares to bulldoze 50 US cities: Most are former industrial cities in the “rust belt” of America’s Mid-West and North East. They include Detroit, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Memphis.
  31. Quietly orders war-zone troops to read rights to captured jihadists.
  32. Introduces new Rules of Engagement for US Combat troops: Do not fire on buildings, even when pinned down by hostiles in the building; no artillery or air support for troops under fire from civilian areas: results in 400% increase in US combat deaths in Afghanistan.
  33. Prepares to kill manned space exploration, prefers return to 7th Century.
  34. Historic merger announced between White House TV and ABC News; no opposing view points permitted.

So let’s look at this again: Obama and the Democrats now owns (or shortly will) and controls US banks, US insurance, US auto manufacturing, wall street, the health and health insurance industries, and three US states. And He’s only been in office for 5 months!

Wow! He definitely is bringing the much hoped for change He campaigned on. And all the state run media swear it is true! It’s all happen so fast I can hardly keep up with His miraculous accomplishments on this page.

Can you imagine what He will accomplish in the next 5 months? Well, yes I suppose he will buy a few more states – preferably those with large electoral counts. It is only North Korea (which used to be a State Sponsor of Terror) holding out against the force of Obama.

Personally, I cannot understand all this talk from Republicans and Conservatives about taking back Congressional seats in 2010 or the even more bizarre claim of taking the White House in 2012. The State run media, which just everyone breathlessly reads or watches, will demolish any right-wing nut jobs who dare to oppose the Democrats. I mean like who wants another Bush, Cheney, and all their corruption, lies, and collusion with Big Oil, Wall Street, and so on? There is no way they could match all the free stuff the Dems are handing out.

Exit question: how long can the shrimp (and his shrimpier sucessor Kim Jong Un, aka “Commander Kim”) from NK hold out?

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