The Beginning of the New American Oligarchy, First Edition

How Our Government Now Works:

Welcome to Czarist Amerika!

The Messiah, our Dear Leader

Disinformation Specialist

1. Wife of Dear Leader:
Michelle Obama

Health Care Specialist for the Disadvantaged.

2. Ultimate White House Insider:
Valerie Jarrett

White House Senior Adviser and;
Housing Specialist

3. White House Senior Adviser
David Axelrod

Master Propagandist and;
Health Care Specialist

White House Chief of Staff
Rahm Emmanuel

Senior Advisor to Congess and the Media and;
Minister of Propaganda and Enforcement and;

Brother of Dr. Death, Ezekiel J. Emanuel
Chair of the Clinical Center Department of Bioethics at the National Institutes of Health and;
Member
Federal Coordinating Council for Comparative Effectiveness Research signed into Federal law in The Stimulous Bill, aka HR1

Current and Future Table of Czars Appointed by the Messiah

These are the personal choices for Czars our Glorious Leader, Barack Hussein Obama, made in our best interests to regulate every aspect and detail of our lives from our cradles to our early and untimely graves:

1. Science Czar:
John Holdren

Senate Confirmed
Director
Office of Science and Technology Policy and;
Eugenics and
Population Control Advisor

2. Regulatory Czar:
Cass Sunstein

Senate Confirmed
Director
Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs and;
Quality Adjusted Life Years

3. Health Care Czar:
Nancy-Ann Min DeParle

Director
White House Office of Health Reform and;
Chief Health Care Lobbyiest

4. Green Jobs Czar:
Van Jones RESIGNED

Special Advisor for Green Jobs
Enterprise and Innovation in the White House and;
Self-Proclaimed Communist and;
Founding Board Member: Color of Change and;
Coordinator for the Removal of Unapproved Speech

5. Climate Czar:
Todd Stern

Special Envoy
Climate Change and;
Disciple of Worlds’s Newest Religion

6. Energy Czar:
Carol M. Browner

Assistant to the President
White House Office of Energy and Climate Change and;
Disciple of Worlds’s Newest Religion

7. Information Czar:
Vivek Kundra

Chief Information Officer and;
Chief Watchdog for Theft and Fraud

8. Urban Affairs/Housing Czar:
Adolfo Carrion

Director
White House Office of Urban Affairs Policy and;
Lead Shakedown Artist

9. Faith-Based Czar:
Joshua Dubois

Director of the White House Office
of Faith-Based and
Neighborhood Partnerships and;
Head Islamic Fund Rasier

10. FCC Diversity Czar:
Mark Lloyd

Newly Appointed to a Position That Never Existed Before and;
Head of White House Censorship Division and;
Avocate for Free Speach For Liberals Only Program.

11. Pay Czar:
Kenneth Feinberg

Treasury Appointment
Special Master
TARP Executive Compensation and;
Confiscatory Special Master Criminal

12. Afghanistan Czar:
Richard Holbrooke

US Envoy
Pakistan and Afghanistan and;
Lead Islamic Appeaser

13. AIDS Czar:
Jeffrey Crowley

Director
Office of National AIDS Policy

14. Car Czar – reappointed as Manufacturing Tzar:
Ron Bloom

Head
Auto Task Force

15. Cyberspace/Internet Fraud Czar:
Melissa Hathaway

Director
White House Office of Cybersecurity

16. Drug Czar:
Gil Kerlikowske

Director
Office of National Drug Control Policy

17. Economic Czar:
Paul Volcker

Chairman
Economic Recovery Advisory Board

18. Education Czar:
Arne Duncan

Secretary of Education

19. Great Lakes Czar:
Cameron Davis

Great Lakes Czar

20. Mideast Policy Czar:
Dennis Ross

Special Advisor
Iran, the Persian Gulf and Southwest Asia

21. Middle-East Peace Czar:
George Mitchell

Special Envoy
Middle East

22. Performance Czar:
Jeffrey Zients

Chief Performance Officer

23. Safe Schools Czar:
Kevin Jennings

Assistant Deputy Secretary
Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools

24. Sudan Czar:
J. Scott Gration

Special Envoy to Sudan

25. Technology Czar:
Aneesh Chopra

Federal Chief Technology Officer

26. Terrorism Czar:
John Brennan

Deputy National Security Advisor
Homeland Security

27. Violence Against Women Czar:
Lynn Rosenthal

White House Advisor
Violence Against Women

28. War Czar:
Douglas Lute

Assistant to the President
Deputy National Security Advisor
Iraq and Afghanistan

29. Weapons Czar:
Ashton Carter

Under Secretary
Defense for Acquisition, Technology, and Logistics

30. WMD Czar:
Gary Samore

National Security Council Staff

31. Bailout Czar:
Neel Kashkari

Treasury Appointment
Interim Assistant Secretary
Treasury for Financial Stability

32. Border Czar:
Alan Bersin (Former US attorney)

Senate Confirmed
Assistant Secretary for International Affairs and
Special Representative for Border Affairs
US Department of Homeland Security

33. Stimulus Accountability Czar:
Earl Devaney

Senate Confirmed
Inspector General
US Department of the Interior

34. Tarp Czar:
Herb Allison

Senate Confirmed
Assistant Secretary for Financial Stability
US Department of the Treasury

35. Guantanomo Closure Czar:
Danny Fried

Secretary of State Appointment
US Department of State
Special Envoy

36. Intelligence Czar:
Admiral Dennis Blair

Presidential Appointment with Advice and Consent of the Senate
Director of National Intelligence

37. California Water Czar
David J. Hayes

38. Auto Recovery Czar
Ed Montgomery

39. Copyright Czar:
Intellectual Property Enforcement Coordinator
Not appointed yet.

40. Land-Use Czar:
Not appointed yet.

41. Income Redistribution Czar:
Not appointed yet.

42. Latin American Czar:
Not appointed yet.

43. Mortgage Czar:
Not appointed yet.

42. Radio-Internet Fairness Czar:
Not appointed yet.

44. Student Loan Czar:
Not appointed yet.

45. Voter List Czar:
Not appointed yet.

46. Zoning Czar:
Not appointed yet.

In Case You Still Cannot Understand The Message:

Senate Majority (Dem) Leader Harry Reid has a special message just for you!